Moon over Fallujah¹

Posted on October 25, 2004 by Jenna

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1 a product of its time. Readers who have not marooned their timeships in October 2004 should imagine that Menudo has flown to the Middle East to put an end to the Iraq War. They are immediately captured but Al-Qaeda makes the mistake of broadcasting a combination final concert and execution, during which time the unstoppable power of a boy band wins over their erstwhile executioners’ hearts; unites Shi’a, Sunni, and Kurd; and gets basically all of Iraq dancing. A repentant bin Laden orders their release and a weeping world congratulates them on their victory. These are the lyrics of the song that changed the world.

Moon over Fallujah
Menudo shock and awe

Has it been so long
Since you said you loved me?
Has it been so long
Since we held hands?
Ten nine eight
Five four three
Please don’t kill us
Zarqawi …

You know
(You know)
I love to see you smile
You know
(You know)
I hate to see you frown
I know
(I know)
You love me, baby,
And if you love me,
Put that knife down!

Moon over Fallujah
Menudo shock and awe

You know
(You know)
The New Kids didn’t deserve you.
You know
(You know)
The Spice Girls don’t rehearse
I know
(I know)
You love me, baby,
And if you love me,
Don’t make things worse!

If we all held hands
And sang along
We’d end this whole fight
With one song
Oh yah

You know
(You know)
Non-being comes from Tao
You know
(You know)
Being comes from Tao
I know
(I know)
You love me, baby,
And if you love me,
Let us go now!

Fallujah’s night aglow
Let’s rock for Menudo
Fallujah, hear our plea;
Don’t kill us, Zarqawi

Rock for Menudo

Boy bands bring peace
To the middle east.