If you make a lens out of melomid skin, you can use it as a mechanism of objectivity and divination! That’s what makes our histories, like the Thus-it-Happened of Maya, different from random phantasmagoria based on real events. History’s still random! But it’s randomly true. Conversely, without that objectivity, without that invocation of Necessity, it doesn’t matter how topical the Micronesian story is or how confident one might be that the Colonies must have had a robot named Patriot. If you don’t use the lens, or if you even use it sloppily, it’s just phantasmagoria!

That’s why the Independence Day special below isn’t marked with Roman numerals or a foreword title page about history or anything that would otherwise indicate truth. It’s because it’s not true! There was a bit of sloppiness with the objectivity and divination, so we had to just make stuff up.

Also on deeper investigation it turned out that the British were mammals. So um that was our bad.