Letters Column for March 2006: AT ANY TIME

Posted on April 3, 2006 by Jenna

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So, thanks for the stories. Thanks for Nobilis. And, I know it’s a less efficient energy source, but couldn’t you try to power a city through angst?
— Rylen

I sit, unloved, in a dark room, holding a light bulb.

The light bulb is supposed to run on angst.

It really is.

I mean, it says so on the label and everything.

That’s what I thought, anyway. I mean, when the lights were on. I could turn on a light and check, but I’m holding an angst-powered light bulb. I should be able to use that. It’s just stupid that I’d have to go flip a switch so I can doublecheck the label when I’ve got a light bulb in my hand.

So, I’m pretty sure. I mean, I can’t know, because it’s dark, but I’m pretty sure the label says, “Angst-Powered Light Bulb. Just add angst, you miserable .”

Nobody loves me and my collection of Constantinoplans moved to Istanbul and the planet I’m living on is mostly water— dark, cold, wet, unbreathable water.

And that all sucks.

But the worst of it is the light bulb.

I mean, that I’m here, in the dark, with an angst-powered light bulb.

And it won’t even burn.

Maybe it’s because of your kind words. Maybe you were so nice that I’m just not angsty enough to run a stupid angst-powered light bulb. The world has a larger population of spiders than humans and I’m sitting here too pleased at the nice words of my readers to activate the light bulb and make sure they’re not all here in this room in neat little spider stacks like you use for pennies at the bank.

Can’t even angst properly.

Doesn’t

That

Just

Take

The

Cake?

Oh, right. The imago also has no Donation button.
— rpuchalsky

Fixed! Donations for March totalled $30.

“People in Babylon could have understood our modern life but they could never have predicted it, no matter how cunning their prognostications.”

even if they were prescient?
— GoldenH

Huh?

The people of Babylon were prescient. That’s how they were able to get in on Xerox on the ground floor—literally, for pennies a share!

It didn’t help them, in the end, but it was a key part of the process of the invention of writing and clay tablets. Then a bunch of thetans imprisoned Xerox in a volcano for hundreds of years and everybody forgot how valuable the shares were.

That’s the problem with prescience.

It doesn’t help against volcanoes!

If you move away, the lava just follows you!

Yay for more poetic parody. I always like those. Buddha parables, too.
— rpuchalsky

There once was a man from Nirvana
Who suggested, “I really do wanna
Tell some parable smut
To rpuchalsky, but
The words can’t do my lewd meaning honor!”

Ah, but to the alergic, these are the cruelest bees of all.
— ADamiani

Everybody always forgets the Your Entire Life Was a Lie Bees.

Although I think that’s in part because swift application of the epipen can rehonest your life. Remember: if you’re allergic to bees and/or Philip K. Dick, carry an epipen at all times!

(Philip K. Dick can sting AT ANY TIME.)

Ah, but meat is still meat whether or not there’s alcohol in it!
— insanitykun

Quoted for truth.

Although it makes me wonder: why do people make such a big deal about alcohol, when it’s really just a non-independent manifestation of infinitely long abstract superstrings? Makes you wonder what their angle is. Makes you go hmm.

And then hiccup!

More tomorrow.

Rebecca

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