Letters Column for January 2006: Still Less Blasphemous!

Posted on February 7, 2006 by Jenna

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Good morning!

Once upon a time there was a vizier to Sulayman, who asked, “What is riches?”

Sulayman took down a fruit from a nearby branch. He held it up.

“This is riches.”

The vizier peered at the fruit, confused, but then shrugged and asked, “What then is happiness?”

Sulayman threw the fruit at the vizier’s head.


“To throw fruit at a vizier of great wisdom,” said Sulayman the Magnificent, “knowing that he is incapable of responding—that is happiness!”


Donations in the month of January totalled $55. Thank you!

There were many comments. I have replied to large numbers of them! If I didn’t reply to you, I still liked that you commented, and I read them all—thank you!

Here are the last few I’m replying to for January. Then it’s on to the bold new aeon of February. Will Cthulhu rise? Will apocalyptic evangelical dispensationalist Jesus come back? Will they fight? I don’t know! I haven’t lived through February yet!

However, I’d bet that apocalyptic evangelical dispensationalist Jesus would totally beat up Cthulhu. He’d be all: dude, I am so holier than a speedboat. If my divine grace rams your head, it’s over.

And then Cthulhu would be all: gnr’rnf’rigsnfff’r

Which the translator would helpfully subtitle: “Your man-meats are deuterocanonical, you hybrid god-person. I will brush my tentacles with your brains!”

So apocalyptic evangelical dispensationalist Jesus would rush forward to strike the beast down with his sin-slaying katana, only … ack! No! Stop, apocalyptic evangelical dispensationalist Jesus! You can’t kill him—he’s got irrevocable grace!

… and still I’m less blasphemous than “Left Behind.”


As it is impossible to rule out the possibility that, but for the seizure of his soul, my client might have attained true faith at some point in his incarnation.
— G.R.

What would anatman be doing living in the wheel of reincarnation?

It doesn’t make sense!

You have to acquit!


Man, poor Sid. He just wanted his soul back.
— Ford Dent

Bah! Young people these days wouldn’t know what to do with souls if they had them!


Hans is the plutocracy which currently runs the world.
— duerig

It’s funny how it’s the dog that doesn’t talk that rules the world.

Just sayin’.

Things to make you think, “hmmm.”


though I don’t know what the giant centipede or the bridge is.
— Graeme

You use them to provide variety between verses!


And maybe some kind of incredibly strange parable for the whole Intelligent Design thing.
— Ninjacrat

Honestly, Intelligent Design is so ’05. The hip term is Constitutional Primevalism! If you don’t believe in Constitutional Primevalism, you’re square, man! Square and godless!

There will probably be a bonus post on merin soon. I’ll let you know. ^_^

And another exciting development in a bit! But I couldn’t stretch the letter column out until the exciting development, and didn’t really want to. So!

Happy February!