In My Opinionation¹

Posted on October 4, 2004 by Jenna

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1 requires familiarity with Blossom and George Orwell’s dystopian fiction 1984.

Blossom is a girl. She is 13. She has had eight best friends, and her current best friend is named Eight.

She is a role model for modern girls.

Blossom comes home from school. She is looking forward to a happy evening. But her father is waiting. He looks serious.

“It’s Eight, Blossom, ” he says. “She has moved to the joycamp.”

I unknow the future,
But still I feel snappy
Goodthinkers shouldn’t get all unhappy
Get pen and paper and memo this versification
In my opinionation
The sun is always shining in Oceania.

Stop all your facecrimes
Slap on a smile
Enjoy the plusgood sun for a while

Don’t fight the bellyfeel
Goodthinkers should have a good time
In my opinionation
The sun is always shining in Oceania.

“I don’t understand, Dad,” says Blossom.

Her father sighs. He puts his hand on her shoulder.

“Sometimes, Blossom, when people think bad things, they get attacked by invisible monsters.”

Blossom gasps.

“Then,” her father explains, “they move to a joycamp. For their own safety!”

Blossom thinks.

“Like … after my brother Anthony did ungoodpills?”

Her father squeezes her shoulder.

“Or when Six asked who One was?”

Her father nods.

“We should help her, Dad,” says Blossom. “Can we help her?”

“Yes,” her father says. “We can send money. This helps people in joycamps do goodwork for the state. It also pays watchers. The watchers protect them from crimethink, ownlife, sexcrime, and invisible monsters. If we want to donate, there are socgroups that can help.”

A series of phone numbers appear in white on the two-way television in the living room.

“I will sell my ungoodtoys,” Blossom resolves, “and send the money to help people like Eight!”

“Let’s call now,” her father says.

Night comes. Then morning. Oldthinkers might call it an overcast morning, but there are no overcast mornings in Oceania.

She prepares to open her blinds.

Blossom is a girl. She is 13. She has had nine best friends, and her best friend is Nine.

“In my opinionation,” she says, “the sun is going to surely shine.”