(Audience) The Magic Bullet

Posted on March 4, 2006 by Jenna

← Previous | Next →

As Oswald’s bullet races towards John F. Kennedy, the Qwik Rabbit stops time.

Arguably this is just bullet time and not an actual cessation of causality. The Qwik Rabbit silences all debate on this topic with a snarl at the Time Review Board and leaps to the President’s side.

“Mr. President,” he says.

There in that frozen moment John F. Kennedy does not want delicious chocolate-flavored milk.

“I don’t want any delicious chocolate-flavored milk,” he says.

He is staring death in the face, and to his right a bullet, and to his left an animated rabbit.

“Are you sure?” asks the Qwik Rabbit, sympathetically.

“Well,” says the President.

“I mean, your mouth’s pretty dry, right?”

“Yes,” admits the President.

“And you’ve loved chocolate-flavored milk all your life, right?” the rabbit asks.

“Power and women and chocolate-flavored milk,” the President concedes. “These have been my passions.”

“So wouldn’t this be a great time for some delicious Qwik?”

And there is gratitude on the President’s face and a sudden release of tension and the rabbit gives him a little crinkly straw and John F. Kennedy says, with an uncharacteristic humility, and between sips from his delicious chocolate-flavored milk, “Why is this grace given unto me?”

And the rabbit says, “Not for your greatness, Mr. President, but for love; for there is no soul so small that I do not give them Qwik before they die.”

Dashing out the door! No time for a Hitherby today! Can you answer the world’s need for meaning?