(Audience) Bitten Off More Than I Can Chew Day!

Posted on October 24, 2005 by Jenna

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Fenrir tries to eat the world.

Uh oh! Fenrir’s eyes were bigger than his mouth. He’s only big enough to eat the moon!

Now Fenrir has too much on his plate.

“You know,” says Jormungandr, “there are starving giant animals in Andromeda.”

So Fenrir eats as much as he can. He doesn’t want the other apocalyptic beasts to think poorly of him!

The littlest anthropophage loved to play and run and dance. He also liked eating brains. He lived in the forest with all his forest friends.

One day Christian missionaries arrived.

The littlest anthropophage decided! This would be his day! He would eat the biggest, fattest missionary of all!

“Raar!” said the littlest anthropophage. He flung himself at the missionary’s leg. “Gnarm, urm, grarm!”

“What a silly primitive,” said the missionaries.

“Grarm?” said the littlest anthropophage. He was too little! He couldn’t even eat the outer layer of skin, called the epidermis, that protected the missionary from environmental dangers such as himself!

“One day,” said the biggest anthropophage, “you will grow tall and strong and you will be able to eat all the missionaries you want.”

Dracula stares in transfixed wonder at the soft flutter of Godzilla’s pulse.

The water is full of sharks.

Atlantis is rising; not just the great body of it, but the head, and the terrible tendrils, and the great gaping maw.

It is bleeding, just a tiny rip where Atlantis had adhered to the ocean bottom in its long years supine there. Behind the rip the sharks are savaging its tender meat.

And Susan watches in the water, her hand on her spear gun.

“Shoot it!” John says, into their radio.

“It won’t help!”

“Just look at it!” John cries, in agony. “It’s crying for a mustard sauce!”

Tonight’s entry needs more work than the tower crew thought—there’s too much to do before it’s in final form! It’s like everyone’s bitten off more than they can chew.

But surely the Qwik Club has similar stories?