A Legend Regarding the Gonz, When He’s Not at Work

Posted on February 19, 2005 by Jenna

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These are not analogous to any specific events.

Near two hundred children play
In Kupkin Park, by Glory Dais.

Trumpets blare and balloons fly
Their faces shine: here comes the guy!

He’s the guy
They love the best!
“Gonz,” they call him.
Gonz the blessed!
He makes their hearts
Pound in their chests!
And all of them
Are quite impressed!

“Alberto Gonz!” one girl responds
She shouts it out! She’s short and blonde
And in her shout she’s quite vivacious
She points and everyone turns their faces!

They gather round him, full of smiles!
It’s time for games and fun Gonz-style!

He shouts, “Oh, Billy, Sally, full of smiles!
It’s time for games and fun Gonz-style!”
But wait!
What’s that on Susie’s face?
A frown?
A frown must be erased!

“I’ll turn your whole world upside down,”
cries Gonz, “That look won’t stay a frown!”
And all the smiling kids adjust,
Their faces falling
As they must
For when the world turns upside-down
Their smiles would become all frowns,
And since they would not have adjusted
Gonz would have them adjust-busted,
Which isn’t bad
It’s kind of fun
But then the other kids would shun
The falsely frowning busted one,
And Gonz might cry,
So it’s not done!

“Tell me now what troubles you,” cries Gonz,
“And see what I can do!”

Little Susie’d lost her head
And shot her daydream playmate dead
So Gonz bestows the kiss of life
And flowers bloom
And cease their strife
And comes a shamblin’ at the end
Little Susie’s daydream friend!

“He’s back!” she cries. “He’s back, at last!
Oh, thank you slow!
Oh, thank you fast!
Oh, thank you Gonz!
You’re like the dawns!”
And in this vein goes on and on.

Gonz spins on Little Billy now.
How does he spin? With feet, that’s how!

“Tell me now what troubles you,” cries Gonz,
“And see what I can do!”

Little Billy has a bully.
Billy’s bully’s Mr. Cully,
Mr. Cully kicks the shins
Of children who won’t kneel to him!

Gonz, he listens.
Gonz, he yawns!
This isn’t hard!
He is the Gonz!

“Go home, oh Billy.
Cully’s gone!”

And so he is! It’s just like that!
The Gonz trumps bullies
No time flat.

“He’s gone!” says Billy. “Gone, at last!
Oh, thank you slow!
Oh, thank you fast!
Alberto friend
makes bullies end!”
He’s crying now! He’s round the bend!

Gonz spins on Little Sally now.
How does he spin? With grace, that’s how!

“Tell me now what troubles you,
And you will see what I can do!”

Little Sally isn’t God!
She wants to be.
It’s kind of odd!
Gonz squints at her with funny eyes
Puffs out his cheeks
And really tries.
“Little Sally! Cease your sins!”
Then Sally’s God! She’s always been!

“Oh, thank you slow!
Oh, thank you fast!
The long purpose of the world at last
Has been revealed
I know it all!”
Then she ascends
Gonz face, it falls.
He liked when Sally came and played
But now she’s in absentia dei.

Gonz spins on little Tommy next.
Who’s Tommy? He’s a boy! He’s vexed!
“I’m vexed because I want a cat!
The nuns that raise me don’t want that.”

“I’ll use my smile and win their hearts!”
says Gonz, “then put their hearts in carts,
Pushed towards Ailurophile Mart,
The mart adds parts to hearts on carts
And soon you’ll have cats Torts and Tarts!
Tarts will miau and purr and blart
While Torts will miou and purr and blort
And think Torts’ blorts have deep import.”

“Oh boy!” cries Tommy, who’s the sort
To like a cat that blarts or blorts.

The Gonz is good,
The Gonz is great,
The Gonz his happy dreams did sate!

He’s a great man,
He’s the Gonz,
His hand is like a magic wand
His teeth are like,
Magic teeth.
They must be seen
To be believed.

And maybe once in seven days,
He comes,
And children laugh and play
Of all the days
Their favorite day!
They love him so!
They love him low!
They love him high!
They love him, why?
‘Cause he’s the Gonz.
He’s deeply fly.

Two hundred kids!
They love him so!
He makes their day!
He helps them grow!

Two hundred kids!
Well, less a few.
Like Little Sally
One or two
Each time
And things like that accrue.

They love him so!
Two hundred kids!
Or that’s the count
He started with

There are a little less today
But he’s the Gonz
So that’s okay.